“Planning things down to the minute sounds so much better than going with the flow.” Does this sound like you? A lot of people feel the same: Going with the flow just isn’t something that feels comfortable for everyone; it jumbles plans, makes us feel out of control of things, and doesn’t give a clear idea of what to expect of our days. Stressful!
It’s funny the way that ‘going with the flow’ is a stressful feat. It’s ironic that a free spirited way of life can truly seem harder than maximally planning. It’s not easy if you have a type A personality, and are someone who thrives off of a scheduled, and put together day. People tend to assume that going with the flow and letting the day take you wherever is a simple task, because it involves no brainpower, and seemingly provides less stress than pinning down exact times for activities.
In a planner brain, it can be the exact opposite. Not having scheduled times for plans? Not knowing where the plans will be? Not knowing who the plans are even with?! That all sounds more overwhelming than others think. To someone without a type A personality, it sounds like a pretty sweet deal– Just going where the wind takes you, and letting the universe figure out the plans for you. To someone with a type A personality, free flowing plans majorly lack a sense of structure, and that feeling of control over the day is one that is incredibly important, almost necessary, to those whose lives revolve around structure.
Loose plans and going with the flow is something a lot of people in our planner community wish they could grasp onto more. Some of us might envy those who have mastered the art of letting the universe figure out plans for them. Because when we try to go with the flow, we’re met with an uncomfortable, dreadful feeling of loss of control.
When we try to give up control, feelings of doubt and thoughts like “this won’t end well” creep in, telling our brains that it’s not okay that something wasn’t planned out. One reason why it may be hard to let the universe do its thing, is because we use maximal planning tactics in an addictive sort of manner- Planner community member and author Leila Hussein says; “Being too type A can be a way for people to distance themself from intimacy. Being too ‘busy’ all the time is an addiction vibe in our society. It numbs us. My advice is to find one’s joy again. Get playful and childlike. Block out a whole hour just to draw or dance etc. Or a whole day at times if you can. We weren’t put on this earth just to do adulting 24/7.” She also says, “Spontaneity lives with playfulness.”
For those who feel they may be too involved in planning every single day meticulously and methodically, a way out of this mentally demanding and cyclical lifestyle could be briefly allowing yourself to surrender to spontaneity and to often seek acts of self love care. Surrender to spontaneity even if it is only for an hour. Allowing your planner mentality to take a backseat for a few days can be daunting, so start with an hour (or more), where there will be room for freedom to flow, and freedom to live without a plan. Self care comes into play when you let your planner mentality take a back seat, because with self care, comes a nurtured mind. And a nurtured mind that is cared for can help you create a life of freedom from the mental demand of meticulous plans.
Author Leila Hussein has also written a poem surrounding the importance of self love and the happiness that comes with it. Linked here,* you can find her insightful words on the topic, and we hope this inspires you to create time for yourself today, where you too can relish in the playfulness and spontaneity of letting the universe do its thing.
About Leila: Leila Hussein is a published writer from England who writes aspirational poetry to uplift others. Self love is a very important concept in her lexicon and she conveys this best with her poem ‘When I love myself’.
The author has expressed she would now write a line in section 5 differently, to read ‘tend to have a full fridge’ to reflect modern times and the right to stop, rest, order a takeout and not focus on perfection.